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thiswholeflight Dec. 4th, 2007 03:36 am)
thiswholeflight Dec. 4th, 2007 03:36 am)Title: you have to try the whipped cream
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thiswholeflight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1000 words
Character/Pairing: Sam and Ruby (With a side of Dean)
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for Supernatural (Up to 3x07 "Fresh Blood"-ish!)/Absurdity. AU. Snark. Deserving of pointing and laughing.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Supernatural. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: Emma's fault. Again. Written in conjunction to her series of ten one hundred word drabbles. It's pretty much here so Ginni laugh at the absurdity. When I say absurdity? I mean it. This so so AU, baby, it deserves love and all the feedback you can give. Seriously. All that and more. ... and it might be![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
thetenspot canon now. All because at least I love me.
“This is your fault,” he says, stubbornly. As all men usually do. Sam Winchester is just a man. Just a boy. Just a man who’s a boy with special psychic powers, who’s supposed to be a king. He doesn’t look like any king.
She perches in bed, crosses her arms across her chest (which is - face it - showing off her cleavage in the best way ever) and a plain gold wedding band shimmers on her finger. When he notices he has a similar one, he covers up his lack of underwear.
Well, this is going to be interesting, she thinks.
Sam grumbles into his Corn Pops.
“You should be happy,” Ruby says lightly, sing-a-song to his ears as she steals his spoon and bowl away to munch. If he’s her husband, she legally owns half of what he owns anyway. “I have no powers. I should be the one sulking.”
“I wish I had the Colt on me,” he says, sourly, hard.
“I know, baby,” she replies with a soft coo, brushing his cheek with her palm. “Sometimes, I wanna kill you too. When I woke up this morning, my toes were all cold. You hog the sheets.”
“Dean, we have a problem,” Sam says quietly into his cell phone, locking the bathroom door behind him.
“Yeah, man, kinda dealin’ with my own right now,” Dean replies.
“Well, you’ve got to get here, now!”
“Saaaam,” Ruby says through the bathroom door. “Did you want to use chocolate sauce or whipped cream? Or both?”
Dean’s smirk is rising on the other end of the phone. Why, Sam, you sly dog.
“Um, both,” he says, pulling his ear away from the phone. “And cherries.”
“You don’t have problems, dude.”
“Dean, you have to come over.”
He hears a loud click.
“Sam, you don’t have to hide in the bathroom. I’m not gonna straddle you the moment you come out the door,” she says with a sigh.
He doesn’t believe her. “Oh, really?”
“For the record, you did suggest the ice cream toppings first to get me out of the way as you talked to your brother. All you had to do is ask nicely.” She shakes the whipped cream can in her hand and the cream spray is doing god knows what.
He tries to get the wedding ring off. Again. She moans.
“You have to try the whipped cream.”
When he opens the shades for sunlight, Gordon Walker is mowing his lawn across the street. The sun makes his black skin glisten with sweat and shine. He notices Sam, waves, smiles with all his clean white teeth and goes back to pushing this bright red lawn mower across his lawn. Sam is stuck there, his hand up in mid air in a sort of wave that he’s not sure he wants to give.
Ruby holds out a pointer finger covered in whipped cream for his benefit and he almost takes the offer before she eloquently quips, “Got nuts?”
“Next you’re going to tell me that you want to start a book club with... Ava and Ash!” He exclaims.
“Geez, someone’s uptight about their sex,” Ruby tsks lightly at him. “I’m human-” He chokes back a laugh. “-and the food is better and I get the warm and cold. Wet and pain. So, don’t mind me if I wanna experience the full package.”
And her eyes drift down over his. Sam’s cheeks flush a little.
“Come on,” she says, her voice seductively low. “We’re from two different worlds, baby. When are we gonna get a chance like this again?”
Dean is a jerk. And not answering his cell phone, so the only logical explanation has to be that he woke up to his own issues since this world is completely demonic-less. Really, Sam’s not sure what’s more horrifying than being married to something you consider to be your mortal enemy. Worse is what he’s being subjected to on their widescreen TV.
This is hell.
Ruby giggles and puts in Titanic. He wonders how they managed to own the movie and if Dean has a copy in his suburban house.
Sam’s face contorts as she laughs when the boat sinks.
He’s a family lawyer in this world. He makes 40K a year and doesn’t have to fake his name and address or steal others’ credit card applications. In his briefcase, he glances through the cases he’s currently working on: two divorces and an adoption for a gay couple pro bono. There is a sort of rush that goes through him and makes his chest feel that much tighter. Exhaling, he closes his briefcase shut and listens to the click as it locks.
“You really are a good man, Sam Winchester,” she says, leaning against the door frame and watching him.
“My brother’s having a baby.”
“You mean, he’s actually pregnant? Thought that only happened in really bad fiction over the internet.”
“No,” Sam says a little slower and more cautiously, “I mean, he got Jo Harvelle knocked up. Somehow. In this world.”
Ruby smirks with curled lips and closes the refrigerator door. “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t the other way around.”
Silence.
“No, you’re not,” Sam says, narrowing his eyes critically to her.
She sighs dramatically and long, hops up onto the kitchen counter to sit with their 2% milk and drinks straight from the carton. “Always the cynic, Sammy.”
He kisses her.
Moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue, he presses them together until they’re white and bends down to meet her mouth and make her toes curl.
Every girl with a pulse has that fantasy: boy determined weaken their knees with that Prince Charming lip locker. Why are the critics not aware that girls think about sex a lot more than guys do? Boys and their every seven seconds rule. Ruby thinks about it every three seconds around Sam Winchester.
Fingers tangled in his dark, grown out hair, she grins into the kiss until they wake.
Author:
thiswholeflightRating: PG-13
Word Count: 1000 words
Character/Pairing: Sam and Ruby (With a side of Dean)
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for Supernatural (Up to 3x07 "Fresh Blood"-ish!)/Absurdity. AU. Snark. Deserving of pointing and laughing.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Supernatural. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: Emma's fault. Again. Written in conjunction to her series of ten one hundred word drabbles. It's pretty much here so Ginni laugh at the absurdity. When I say absurdity? I mean it. This so so AU, baby, it deserves love and all the feedback you can give. Seriously. All that and more. ... and it might be
thetenspot canon now. All because at least I love me.“This is your fault,” he says, stubbornly. As all men usually do. Sam Winchester is just a man. Just a boy. Just a man who’s a boy with special psychic powers, who’s supposed to be a king. He doesn’t look like any king.
She perches in bed, crosses her arms across her chest (which is - face it - showing off her cleavage in the best way ever) and a plain gold wedding band shimmers on her finger. When he notices he has a similar one, he covers up his lack of underwear.
Well, this is going to be interesting, she thinks.
Sam grumbles into his Corn Pops.
“You should be happy,” Ruby says lightly, sing-a-song to his ears as she steals his spoon and bowl away to munch. If he’s her husband, she legally owns half of what he owns anyway. “I have no powers. I should be the one sulking.”
“I wish I had the Colt on me,” he says, sourly, hard.
“I know, baby,” she replies with a soft coo, brushing his cheek with her palm. “Sometimes, I wanna kill you too. When I woke up this morning, my toes were all cold. You hog the sheets.”
“Dean, we have a problem,” Sam says quietly into his cell phone, locking the bathroom door behind him.
“Yeah, man, kinda dealin’ with my own right now,” Dean replies.
“Well, you’ve got to get here, now!”
“Saaaam,” Ruby says through the bathroom door. “Did you want to use chocolate sauce or whipped cream? Or both?”
Dean’s smirk is rising on the other end of the phone. Why, Sam, you sly dog.
“Um, both,” he says, pulling his ear away from the phone. “And cherries.”
“You don’t have problems, dude.”
“Dean, you have to come over.”
He hears a loud click.
“Sam, you don’t have to hide in the bathroom. I’m not gonna straddle you the moment you come out the door,” she says with a sigh.
He doesn’t believe her. “Oh, really?”
“For the record, you did suggest the ice cream toppings first to get me out of the way as you talked to your brother. All you had to do is ask nicely.” She shakes the whipped cream can in her hand and the cream spray is doing god knows what.
He tries to get the wedding ring off. Again. She moans.
“You have to try the whipped cream.”
When he opens the shades for sunlight, Gordon Walker is mowing his lawn across the street. The sun makes his black skin glisten with sweat and shine. He notices Sam, waves, smiles with all his clean white teeth and goes back to pushing this bright red lawn mower across his lawn. Sam is stuck there, his hand up in mid air in a sort of wave that he’s not sure he wants to give.
Ruby holds out a pointer finger covered in whipped cream for his benefit and he almost takes the offer before she eloquently quips, “Got nuts?”
“Next you’re going to tell me that you want to start a book club with... Ava and Ash!” He exclaims.
“Geez, someone’s uptight about their sex,” Ruby tsks lightly at him. “I’m human-” He chokes back a laugh. “-and the food is better and I get the warm and cold. Wet and pain. So, don’t mind me if I wanna experience the full package.”
And her eyes drift down over his. Sam’s cheeks flush a little.
“Come on,” she says, her voice seductively low. “We’re from two different worlds, baby. When are we gonna get a chance like this again?”
Dean is a jerk. And not answering his cell phone, so the only logical explanation has to be that he woke up to his own issues since this world is completely demonic-less. Really, Sam’s not sure what’s more horrifying than being married to something you consider to be your mortal enemy. Worse is what he’s being subjected to on their widescreen TV.
This is hell.
Ruby giggles and puts in Titanic. He wonders how they managed to own the movie and if Dean has a copy in his suburban house.
Sam’s face contorts as she laughs when the boat sinks.
He’s a family lawyer in this world. He makes 40K a year and doesn’t have to fake his name and address or steal others’ credit card applications. In his briefcase, he glances through the cases he’s currently working on: two divorces and an adoption for a gay couple pro bono. There is a sort of rush that goes through him and makes his chest feel that much tighter. Exhaling, he closes his briefcase shut and listens to the click as it locks.
“You really are a good man, Sam Winchester,” she says, leaning against the door frame and watching him.
“My brother’s having a baby.”
“You mean, he’s actually pregnant? Thought that only happened in really bad fiction over the internet.”
“No,” Sam says a little slower and more cautiously, “I mean, he got Jo Harvelle knocked up. Somehow. In this world.”
Ruby smirks with curled lips and closes the refrigerator door. “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t the other way around.”
Silence.
“No, you’re not,” Sam says, narrowing his eyes critically to her.
She sighs dramatically and long, hops up onto the kitchen counter to sit with their 2% milk and drinks straight from the carton. “Always the cynic, Sammy.”
He kisses her.
Moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue, he presses them together until they’re white and bends down to meet her mouth and make her toes curl.
Every girl with a pulse has that fantasy: boy determined weaken their knees with that Prince Charming lip locker. Why are the critics not aware that girls think about sex a lot more than guys do? Boys and their every seven seconds rule. Ruby thinks about it every three seconds around Sam Winchester.
Fingers tangled in his dark, grown out hair, she grins into the kiss until they wake.
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