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Title: the only game he wins
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
duckytears
Pairing/Character: Duncan/Logan
Word Count: 1,111 words
Rating: PG
Summary: If things were even close to honest between Duncan and Logan words would go like this...
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers up to "Rat Saw God" (2x06)
A/N: Many, many thanks to my beta Ginni,atomic_eyes who took the crack of 4 am messed up writing and helped it actually make more sense than it would have un-beta-ed. Also, she gave me the excellent input of Duncan!Voice as this was really my first time ever writing him and she's the expert.
If things were even close to honest between Duncan and Logan words would go like this:
"You know, I hate your sister for what she did to me."
"I know, man. Sometimes I hate her too."
Among the many things wrong with the scene and the dialogue is the fact that neither boy can actually bring themselves to hate Lilly or at least admit that they do sometimes. It's something to do with the fact that they both love that girl more than breathing and occasionally wish that they'd taken the place of the body rotting and decomposing in her grave. Thoughts have taken on a morbid undercurrent since Lilly and they'd never be able to get rid of it.
Duncan thinks about that the most - but then again Duncan thinks things through a lot more than most people. It's a trait he was born to have, perhaps it's the universe's intention to fix his fathers mistakes by allowing him clear and rational thought - usually. Where Logan chooses impulse Duncan chooses the safety of calculated decisions. He sometimes thinks that impulse or not they're screwed. The only difference is that Logan acts like he never has a scratch on him and Duncan feels incapacitated by the gaping wounds life has placed on him. Anyone who knew them would find it strange; Logan is the one who wears his heart on his sleeve while Duncan's emotions are barely discernible to most people. Then again they are both so very good a denial, that's a trait they share, along with loving particular blondes.
Instead of admitting anger towards Lilly's complete disregard -for them, herself- and stupidity, they settle on living in their own ignorance and numbing themselves with some golf video game. They already know the ending. Logan's going to shoot and miss and then miss again. Duncan won't take on the recklessness that Logan seems to have inherited from his sister and he'll continue without taking chances. He'll win the game like always.
It's the only game he wins.
They're not honest though. Logan tiredly throws down his controller onto the floor when Duncan beats him in the first game.
"Best two out of three?" Duncan offers, but Logan shakes his head in response.
Why bother? Apathy is any given day's emotion. The only excitement the two get is when Veronica comes over. That's when Duncan smiles uncontrollably at the mere sight of his girlfriend and Logan suddenly becomes alive with chillingly ill intended quips to provoke her - and provoke her he does. Duncan does everything he can to quell the jealousy of their seemingly endless and completely disturbing quasi-mating ritual.
Veronica is another thing they're not honest about.
Duncan isn't stupid. He invited Logan to live with him with the full knowledge that he still wasn't over Veronica. Logan rarely gets over anyone who invades his life. He pretends more than anyone Duncan knows, including their fathers - except Duncan tries not to think about that. They just might be more messed up than the previous generation. It's something that happens when your parents don't inform you that you might be kissing your half sister or if your real sister is murdered by your best friend's dad. Those kinds of things make the boys undoubtedly the most fucked up duo in all of Neptune. That was saying something, this was Neptune after all.
Duncan thinks maybe the gaping wounds happen when you see the two people you love the most in the world (a least the ones that are alive - Lilly and Molly still alludes you) kissing like they're forever in love; the kind of love you were suppose to have with her.
Is he bitter? Hell yes.
Is he angry? More than he ever expresses. Not that his lack of expressing emotions is anything new or unfamiliar - even to Logan.
Duncan stares down, his eyes heat on the back of Logan's neck until his best friend (ex-best friend? enemy? - It depends on the week) notices. Logan's dark eyes meet his and Logan's eyes speak volumes more than his words and actions ever will.
"What do you want to do, anyway?" Duncan asks with a voice slightly cracked, his inner musings taking affect on his mood.
"Anything but this," Logan shrugs with a nonchalant sigh.
Its silence again for a few moments until Duncan blurts out an emotionally driven, "Do you miss Lilly?" Strangely, the words come out clearly and without any sharp edges. His voice is smooth instead of charged.
"No," Logan's new pastime is lying and sometimes the lies are so many that he begins to believe them himself.
"No." Duncan echoes.
"No." Beat, the sound of the other controller placed on the table nearby is heard. "It's the only way I can decide not to be angry at a dead girl."
People aren't supposed to talk the way Logan does - rough and careless - he knows somewhere inside there's a boy who does more than stick bubble gum in girls hair. Duncan looks at Logan and all he sees is cracked glass. Hundreds of copies of his own face stare back at him when he looks too deeply into the material that clings to the other boy's chest.
Everything inside screams no when Logan refuses to refer to Lilly as Lilly and now refers to her as just a dead girl. He wondered when that changed, but he supposes that it's when Lilly slept with his father. Lilly had never been just anything to anyone who knew her.
"Do you?" Logan asks, already knowing the answer.
"Everyday," voice cracking Duncan avoids eye contact.
It's honest. They're doing the honest thing - even if it's half honest. The thing is that it doesn't feel it, there's no heat like when they're fighting or laughing. There's nothing much of anything anymore - it scares them both, but they'd never do anything about it with the fragile state of their friendship on the line.
That's why when Logan's lips press lightly against his it's a surprise. For a moment, he can swear its Lilly playing a trick on him, because they have absolutely none of the right chemistry. He wasn't feeling that moment. Was he supposed to be feeling it?
"Jackass," Duncan says, pushing Logan away at the feel of Logan's smirk curving onto the lips pressed against his - rough and calloused like the words Logan throws out without bothering to think first. Logan never bothers to think first.
Logan laughs and dusts himself off, peeling himself off of the floor. "Hey, man, I'm just keeping things interesting."
Honestly, Duncan hates Lilly sometimes.
Author:
duckytearsPairing/Character: Duncan/Logan
Word Count: 1,111 words
Rating: PG
Summary: If things were even close to honest between Duncan and Logan words would go like this...
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers up to "Rat Saw God" (2x06)
A/N: Many, many thanks to my beta Ginni,
atomic_eyes who took the crack of 4 am messed up writing and helped it actually make more sense than it would have un-beta-ed. Also, she gave me the excellent input of Duncan!Voice as this was really my first time ever writing him and she's the expert. If things were even close to honest between Duncan and Logan words would go like this:
"You know, I hate your sister for what she did to me."
"I know, man. Sometimes I hate her too."
Among the many things wrong with the scene and the dialogue is the fact that neither boy can actually bring themselves to hate Lilly or at least admit that they do sometimes. It's something to do with the fact that they both love that girl more than breathing and occasionally wish that they'd taken the place of the body rotting and decomposing in her grave. Thoughts have taken on a morbid undercurrent since Lilly and they'd never be able to get rid of it.
Duncan thinks about that the most - but then again Duncan thinks things through a lot more than most people. It's a trait he was born to have, perhaps it's the universe's intention to fix his fathers mistakes by allowing him clear and rational thought - usually. Where Logan chooses impulse Duncan chooses the safety of calculated decisions. He sometimes thinks that impulse or not they're screwed. The only difference is that Logan acts like he never has a scratch on him and Duncan feels incapacitated by the gaping wounds life has placed on him. Anyone who knew them would find it strange; Logan is the one who wears his heart on his sleeve while Duncan's emotions are barely discernible to most people. Then again they are both so very good a denial, that's a trait they share, along with loving particular blondes.
Instead of admitting anger towards Lilly's complete disregard -for them, herself- and stupidity, they settle on living in their own ignorance and numbing themselves with some golf video game. They already know the ending. Logan's going to shoot and miss and then miss again. Duncan won't take on the recklessness that Logan seems to have inherited from his sister and he'll continue without taking chances. He'll win the game like always.
It's the only game he wins.
They're not honest though. Logan tiredly throws down his controller onto the floor when Duncan beats him in the first game.
"Best two out of three?" Duncan offers, but Logan shakes his head in response.
Why bother? Apathy is any given day's emotion. The only excitement the two get is when Veronica comes over. That's when Duncan smiles uncontrollably at the mere sight of his girlfriend and Logan suddenly becomes alive with chillingly ill intended quips to provoke her - and provoke her he does. Duncan does everything he can to quell the jealousy of their seemingly endless and completely disturbing quasi-mating ritual.
Veronica is another thing they're not honest about.
Duncan isn't stupid. He invited Logan to live with him with the full knowledge that he still wasn't over Veronica. Logan rarely gets over anyone who invades his life. He pretends more than anyone Duncan knows, including their fathers - except Duncan tries not to think about that. They just might be more messed up than the previous generation. It's something that happens when your parents don't inform you that you might be kissing your half sister or if your real sister is murdered by your best friend's dad. Those kinds of things make the boys undoubtedly the most fucked up duo in all of Neptune. That was saying something, this was Neptune after all.
Duncan thinks maybe the gaping wounds happen when you see the two people you love the most in the world (a least the ones that are alive - Lilly and Molly still alludes you) kissing like they're forever in love; the kind of love you were suppose to have with her.
Is he bitter? Hell yes.
Is he angry? More than he ever expresses. Not that his lack of expressing emotions is anything new or unfamiliar - even to Logan.
Duncan stares down, his eyes heat on the back of Logan's neck until his best friend (ex-best friend? enemy? - It depends on the week) notices. Logan's dark eyes meet his and Logan's eyes speak volumes more than his words and actions ever will.
"What do you want to do, anyway?" Duncan asks with a voice slightly cracked, his inner musings taking affect on his mood.
"Anything but this," Logan shrugs with a nonchalant sigh.
Its silence again for a few moments until Duncan blurts out an emotionally driven, "Do you miss Lilly?" Strangely, the words come out clearly and without any sharp edges. His voice is smooth instead of charged.
"No," Logan's new pastime is lying and sometimes the lies are so many that he begins to believe them himself.
"No." Duncan echoes.
"No." Beat, the sound of the other controller placed on the table nearby is heard. "It's the only way I can decide not to be angry at a dead girl."
People aren't supposed to talk the way Logan does - rough and careless - he knows somewhere inside there's a boy who does more than stick bubble gum in girls hair. Duncan looks at Logan and all he sees is cracked glass. Hundreds of copies of his own face stare back at him when he looks too deeply into the material that clings to the other boy's chest.
Everything inside screams no when Logan refuses to refer to Lilly as Lilly and now refers to her as just a dead girl. He wondered when that changed, but he supposes that it's when Lilly slept with his father. Lilly had never been just anything to anyone who knew her.
"Do you?" Logan asks, already knowing the answer.
"Everyday," voice cracking Duncan avoids eye contact.
It's honest. They're doing the honest thing - even if it's half honest. The thing is that it doesn't feel it, there's no heat like when they're fighting or laughing. There's nothing much of anything anymore - it scares them both, but they'd never do anything about it with the fragile state of their friendship on the line.
That's why when Logan's lips press lightly against his it's a surprise. For a moment, he can swear its Lilly playing a trick on him, because they have absolutely none of the right chemistry. He wasn't feeling that moment. Was he supposed to be feeling it?
"Jackass," Duncan says, pushing Logan away at the feel of Logan's smirk curving onto the lips pressed against his - rough and calloused like the words Logan throws out without bothering to think first. Logan never bothers to think first.
Logan laughs and dusts himself off, peeling himself off of the floor. "Hey, man, I'm just keeping things interesting."
Honestly, Duncan hates Lilly sometimes.
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