still love you more than anyone else could (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thiswholeflight) wrote2006-10-04 11:05 pm
thiswholeflight) wrote2006-10-04 11:05 pm
ADVENTURES OF RON AND LOGANNE - PART 1: DRAMA AND SEX CHANGE AT THE MALL (TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE)
Title: THE ADVENTURES OF RON AND LOGANNE - PART 1: DRAMA AND SEX CHANGE AT THE MALL (TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
heartisbruised and duckytears
Rating: PG-13, kiddies!
Word Count: 677
Character/Pairing: Veronica and Logan - EPIC LOVE, or like NOT.
Warning: UM, REALLY BAD FIC. OKAY. DO NOT PASS GO.
Summary: They were never impressed with each other to begin with.
Disclaimer: They're not mine. They belong to Rob Thomas. WHO MAKES LOGAN INTO A WHINY LITTLE BITCH.
Author's Note: I fucking blame Fawn, okay? All Fawn's fault. Who made me write sappy Logan. This is where season three is going. SUGAR WE'RE GOING DOWN. Hopefully part two Veronica will whip Logan back into being a bastard to her. Either that, or he'll start producing Estrogen.
Veronica sighed. "Oh Logan, I just don't know what to do about my hair. It's so dull and flat these days."
Logan smiled placidly. "Girlfriend, you need a better creme rinse. Have you tried John Frieda's new line? It's fabulous. I don't know what I'd do without my stylist, Veronica," Logan sighed softly in a hum to himself. "That man could highlight like no one's business."
"Oh, Logan. You poor thing," Veronica replied, her face a mask of sympathy as she reached over, running her fingers through the slightly fading frosted tips of his short hair. "We'll fix that. There are clearly plenty of heterosexually challenged men left in Neptune, and I've read the drop out rate of Hearst is pretty high. That pretty much leaves McDonald's or beauty school. I'm sure you'll have a new stylist in no time. In the meantime, will a pedicure make you feel better?" She asked. "My treat!"
"Oh, please, like you know the places to go, Miss White Trash?" He scoffs, taking his handbag with him as he stood up dramatically from the lunch table in the mall. "I want my pink taffeta back!"
Veronica places her hands on the table, pushing back from it as she stands up angrily. "Excuse me? White trash? Your father was sleeping with your girlfriend. Your family was like, made for Jerry Springer." She narrowed her eyes at him. "And your pink taffeta? Makes your ass look fat. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor by keeping it off of those child-bearing hips and thunder thighs of yours."
Logan, by now, has puffy red eyes. He looks like he's about to cry, if he's not already. "How dare you call my thighs thunderous! You're like completely flat chested. I have more of a chest than you, bitch."
Veronica makes an angry face, scrunching her nose up and pouting her lips as she reaches up and bitchslaps him across the face, snapping her wrist for more impact. "And I'm more of a man than you'll ever be. You might as well just get a sex change because even Mac is packing more than you are."
Logan sniffles hard, he holds his cheek, looking horrified towards her. "Would you love me then? If I did? For you!"
"Yes!" Veronica screams, passionately, into the air. "Don't you get it yet, Logan? I'm a lesbian! Duncan turned me gay. Well, there were a few times that Lilly and I would... and you weren't really around or paying attention. Anyway, you're definitely girl enough for me, Logan. But you just... now you need to have the right parts," She said, rushing up to him and clasping his hands. "And maybe we can change your name to Loganne?"
As Veronica clasped his hand tightly, light for the first time in her eyes since Lilly's death, he turned away, tearful. One single tear made it down the curve of his cheek, and he wiped it away harshly. "I can't Ronnie. I just can't. Not for you. Not for Lilly. Duncan turned me gay - and I guess you were just a replacement." He pauses and then bursts into hysterical tears. "How could you not love me the way that I am?"
Author:
heartisbruised and duckytears Rating: PG-13, kiddies!
Word Count: 677
Character/Pairing: Veronica and Logan - EPIC LOVE, or like NOT.
Warning: UM, REALLY BAD FIC. OKAY. DO NOT PASS GO.
Summary: They were never impressed with each other to begin with.
Disclaimer: They're not mine. They belong to Rob Thomas. WHO MAKES LOGAN INTO A WHINY LITTLE BITCH.
Author's Note: I fucking blame Fawn, okay? All Fawn's fault. Who made me write sappy Logan. This is where season three is going. SUGAR WE'RE GOING DOWN. Hopefully part two Veronica will whip Logan back into being a bastard to her. Either that, or he'll start producing Estrogen.
Veronica sighed. "Oh Logan, I just don't know what to do about my hair. It's so dull and flat these days."
Logan smiled placidly. "Girlfriend, you need a better creme rinse. Have you tried John Frieda's new line? It's fabulous. I don't know what I'd do without my stylist, Veronica," Logan sighed softly in a hum to himself. "That man could highlight like no one's business."
"Oh, Logan. You poor thing," Veronica replied, her face a mask of sympathy as she reached over, running her fingers through the slightly fading frosted tips of his short hair. "We'll fix that. There are clearly plenty of heterosexually challenged men left in Neptune, and I've read the drop out rate of Hearst is pretty high. That pretty much leaves McDonald's or beauty school. I'm sure you'll have a new stylist in no time. In the meantime, will a pedicure make you feel better?" She asked. "My treat!"
"Oh, please, like you know the places to go, Miss White Trash?" He scoffs, taking his handbag with him as he stood up dramatically from the lunch table in the mall. "I want my pink taffeta back!"
Veronica places her hands on the table, pushing back from it as she stands up angrily. "Excuse me? White trash? Your father was sleeping with your girlfriend. Your family was like, made for Jerry Springer." She narrowed her eyes at him. "And your pink taffeta? Makes your ass look fat. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor by keeping it off of those child-bearing hips and thunder thighs of yours."
Logan, by now, has puffy red eyes. He looks like he's about to cry, if he's not already. "How dare you call my thighs thunderous! You're like completely flat chested. I have more of a chest than you, bitch."
Veronica makes an angry face, scrunching her nose up and pouting her lips as she reaches up and bitchslaps him across the face, snapping her wrist for more impact. "And I'm more of a man than you'll ever be. You might as well just get a sex change because even Mac is packing more than you are."
Logan sniffles hard, he holds his cheek, looking horrified towards her. "Would you love me then? If I did? For you!"
"Yes!" Veronica screams, passionately, into the air. "Don't you get it yet, Logan? I'm a lesbian! Duncan turned me gay. Well, there were a few times that Lilly and I would... and you weren't really around or paying attention. Anyway, you're definitely girl enough for me, Logan. But you just... now you need to have the right parts," She said, rushing up to him and clasping his hands. "And maybe we can change your name to Loganne?"
As Veronica clasped his hand tightly, light for the first time in her eyes since Lilly's death, he turned away, tearful. One single tear made it down the curve of his cheek, and he wiped it away harshly. "I can't Ronnie. I just can't. Not for you. Not for Lilly. Duncan turned me gay - and I guess you were just a replacement." He pauses and then bursts into hysterical tears. "How could you not love me the way that I am?"
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But you KNOW this is what's happening to Logan. You know it is!
OMG, the line about "Loganne" still makes me laugh until it brings me to tears, and then I just couldn't reply after your last bit. Even my fake!Veronica muse was DED.
I HEART you!!! <333333333333333333
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kthnxbye.
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This made is LOL for real.
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This wins for bestest line eeeever. XD
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